Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Urinals

One would think that summer can't be stressful, what with the beautiful weather, the long relaxing vacations, and the way the extra light just eases away all those tensions of the dark, dreary winter. In the men's room, however, summer brings extra stress. You see, men break out sandals for the summer. And sandals mean exposed toes at urinals.

Now, in spite of the many years of evolution in the urinal manufacturing process, urinals are just not splatter proof. Every once in a while, you feel a little bit of your own drippings hitting your sandaled feet. And guys, let's face it - we just don't care. It'll dry off, and our feet smell enough for odor to not even be an issue. No big deal. Unless... it's somebody else's.

No man ever wants to be touched by another man's pee. End of.... This isn't even a commandment - this is just common sense. Years and years of territorial peeing have bred this fact into male mammals. My pee: good. Your pee: bad. It's simple enough. You need more information? See if a male dog can pass something another male dog peed on without giving it a sprinkle of his own. If that dog hasn't had a drink in two weeks, he'll still muster up enough of a sprinkle to hose down the other dog's mark. Our nature is strong, my friends.

Anyway, it's bad enough to be at a urinal immediately next to another man. Having him there AND having to worry about him sprinkling urine on your toes? Trust me, you'll have EVEN MORE motivation to avoid urinal neighbors.

I suggest that if you do find yourself standing next to another man, you can modify your stance a bit. Move the foot on his side toward the center of the urinal. You'll have to slide your other foot back a bit to maintain balance, but it's worth knowing that the only moisture you'll feel on your feet is your own.